Thursday, July 16, 2009

Love The Look


North Carolina welcomes it's newest neighbor: Bernie Madoff. Leaving behind the Frette sheets, Irish linen pj's and cashmere socks Mr. Madoff now sports the polyester-blend prison jumpsuit. He's in good company in Butner NC as the following high profile inmates share the pilates studio at this posh medium security federal penitentiary; Adelphia Communications own John Rigas and son Tim, who were convicted on multiple charges,including securities fraud and concealing $2.3 billion in liabilities from corporate investors. Jonathan Pollard, an American who spied for Israel and Omar Abdel-Rahman, the "blind sheik," who is serving a life sentence for trying to kill Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and blow up the United Nations. This is like the all-star squad. Do you think they may form a secret investment-ponzi club? I imagine a marketing idea from the bad boys of Butner to be "Invest all of your snack stash with us and receive an unbelievable 12% return on your ritz crackers." At the very least a prison book club or writers salon to kibitz about memoirs/tell-all books. Evening cups of tea drank together discussing strategies to off-shore amazon booksales proceeds. It just seems like old habits die hard.

What's odd is that many a cottage industry has sprung up around these white collar criminals: prison coaches are the new personal trainer. With all of the security fraud and big fish like Bernie, it's easy to see how a little advice on what it's like inside the big house would garner press and business opportunities for all parties on either side of the bars.

I just wonder if they have to share yoga mats. It just seems wrong for them to have such a posh and privileged penitentiary pad as well as federally subsidized organic bamboo yoga togs.